


Heart of the Matter

by mmorana



Series: Heart of the Matter [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Drama, Friendship, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-28
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-04-11 19:43:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4449758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mmorana/pseuds/mmorana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oneshots of Inquisition Members having heart to heart chats with Varric.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In the Moment

Hawke looked over at Varric from across the table, trying and failing to read his face. "Ugh, fold. I fold." Varric laughed and threw his cards on the table, displaying a winning hand for the third time this evening. "I'm beginning to think you've somehow gotten better at cheating," Hawke observed, taking a sip of her ale.  
"You know this is starting to feel like old times again, " Varric sad, collecting his winnings from the center of the table. "Yes, I mean, if you take away the giant green hole in the sky, the world falling apart and the fact that we aren't currently surrounded by sneering templars in The Hanged Man." 

Varric laughed and she noticed it wasn't the carefree laugh he had sported in Kirkwall but one that had a deep feeling of worry in it. Hawke observed her friend again, this time noticing the influx of weight his face held, the way his smile had lost some of it's spark. Times had indeed changed.  
"We've been through a lot together Hawke, and I'm not saying our time in Kirkwall was always easy, but damned if I don't sometimes miss it. Isabela flirting with poor oblivious Merril, Anders and Fenris arguing about mages." At the mention of Fenris Hawke winced, feeling a ping of pain in her chest. Varric noticed the change and sighed, he was always highly perceptive.

"He needs to know you're here Hawke. He's written me several times, I don't like lying to my friends." Hawke ran her fingers through her blonde hair, "Then don't. A lack of response isn't an answer...or a lie." Varric shuffled the deck, "At least tell him you are alive, and heading to Weisshaupt." Hawke slammed her head against the table, "I miss him." 

"Miss who?" Hawke looked up to see the Inquisitor standing in the door way, arms crossed and leaning against the wall. "Inquisitor," Varric said, suddenly smiling again and waving his cards in the air, "Care for a game?" The inquisitor walked towards the table, taking a seat next to Hawke, "No thank you, I'd like to keep some piece of my dignity, and not end up running back to my quarters in the nude like a certain commander I know."   
Varric laughed, "Very well then. What are you doing up so late?" She suddenly turned a bright shade of red and started to attempt to explain herself, tripping over her words as she did so, "Well you see..I was...inquisition buisness." Hawke laughed, recognizing the embarassment on her face, she had seen it on Aveline's when she was started courting her now husband.

Varric held our his hand, "So, visiting Chuckles then." The inquisitor turned even more red, "I guess there's no point in lying to you." Hawke chuckled, good to know that Varric was still the most well informed person she knew, especially on those close to him. "And which one of her companions is Chuckles?" Hawke asked.   
"Solas. Bald, Quiet, Solumn. In Sera's words the 'elfiest elf that has ever elfed," Varric explained, dawning an accent for the last part of it. "Ah, yes," Hawke said, "congratulations." The Inquisitor sighed and looked at her feet. "Something wrong?" Varric asked, "I'm always here to listen." 

The inquisitor shifted in her seat," I just, don't understand him sometimes. It feels like he's holding back or pulling away from me. We haven't really defined our relationship and I guess I'm just confused. I care for him, and I know he cares for me but there's just something missing." 

Hawke frowned, "I've been through a similar circumstance. Fenris," she steeled herself against her pain and resolved herself not to cry, "Fenris was a slave for most of his life, to a magistar. So being a mage myself, our relationship was...complicated for a while. Still is sometimes. I don't know anything about Solas, but sometimes being patient and being in the moment are all you can do. Life is short, be happy in the time you have, in what is yours now, and let the rest fall where it may." Hawke took a sip of ale and patted the inquisitor on the back, "That's my advice at least."

She stood to leave and Varric called after her, "Hawke? Done losing all your money?" Hawke placed her empty mug on the table, "I have someone to write."


	2. The Family You Choose

Varric paused in the doorway, listening to the conversation as it grew louder. "I mean seriously Bull, how was that even a choice to you, would you really have let the chargers die? They are your people!" Bull snarled, "Don't you think I know that? You think I've spent the last few years of my life with these men and don't care about them? But the Qunari are my people too, or were at least." The Inquisitor looked disguisted and walked away, almost bumping into Varric as she left the room.

Iron Bull plopped down in a char, looking defeated. It was not a good look for him, Varric thought. "Hey, need a drink?" he offered as he motioned to the bartender. Iron Bull looked up and nodded silently.   
"Don't be too offended Bull, like you said, she doesn't understand." Iron Bull scoffed, "She treats me as though I'm a monster for thinking about it. It wasn't an obvious answer, not for me."   
Varric ordered them each a pint and sighed, "For her it would have been." Iron Bull looked annoyed, "No, here let me explain," said Varric. "Inquisitor Lavellan was a first in her clan, set up to be the next keeper. "  
Iron Bull nodded, "Yeah I know." "Then you know her whole life revolves around keeping her people safe. Her clan is her family, and her role within that family has been defined since she was a child. I guess in that way you have something in common." 

Iron Bull scoffed but Varric continued anyway, "In her mind, your people come first, no matter what. Elves look after each other like that, it's how they've survived." He took a moment to thank the waitress and take a sip of ale. "I know it wasn't an easy decision, heck, I get why it was a decision at all. 

Iron Bull sighed, "I haven't been around other Qunari in a long time, haven't had to deal with all the shit that comes with it sure but, the Qun it's...it's home. No matter how far I run or how many good men I work with, qunari are my people. And I caused the death of two dreadnaughts worth of them and became Tal Vashoth all in one go." Iron Bull took a sip, well more like a gulp and Varric and he sat in companionable silence for a time.

"I ever tell you about the time the carta drank darkspawn blood and got used by Corypheus to try to kill Hawke?" Iron Bull nodded and looked at Varric with a look of shock. "Yeah, had to go and stop it, which in the end required killing alot of Carta members. Dwarves, and ones that I had known a long time. I had drank with them and bought from them and in an instant I had to kill several of them."   
"Man that, that sucks." Varric took another sip and continued, "Yes, it did. But they were trying to kill Hawke and she and her company were my friends, hell more then friends, they were my family. And other dwarves, sure we belong to the same race and I'll always have a fondness for them, but they aren't my family, not really, not the ones I chose anyway." 

Iron Bull's face softened, clearly seeing where this was going, "And Hawke was." Varric nodded, "After what we've been through together Hawke is more family to me then my own parents. Dwarves die every day all over the world, and it's sad, shit it's sad any time anyone dies, but they make their choices and I've made mine and at the end of the day I'm happy with the path I've chosen...with the family I've chosen. And if I could go back and do it all again I'd choose Hawke again, every time."

Iron Bull thought on that for a moment and then finished off his beer. Varric smiled, "Shit, I hate when the conversation get's this serious. What I'm trying to say is if you need to talk, I'm here. No judging, I'll just listen if that's what you want, however I do retain the rights to create a dramatized version of whatever you tell me in my next book, "Magisters and Mercenaries."   
Iron Bull laughed, "I think Dorian might take offense to that." Varric smiled, "I think he'll come around." Iron bull stood, "Thanks Varric, I needed that, now if you'll excuse me I need to go beat the shit out of something." Varric chuckled and watched him go, finishing off the last of his beer and pulling out a quill, this would make an excellent prologue.


	3. Proving Them Wrong

Varric sighed as he walked up into the library on his way to see Leliana. She would not be happy at the report in his hand, not that she was ever what Varric would consider happy. She had the look of a woman who knew far too much, it was a dangerous look in Varric’s experience. He went to walk past where Dorian was always perched and noticed that the Tevinter looked out of sorts. 

Dorian’s hair, which was, in Dorians own words, the epitome of beauty and perfection, was disheveled. He was hunched over several open books, frantically looking at them all in unison and making frustrated grunting noises. 

“Damn, Festus bei umo canavarum!”  
 Varric chuckled and made for the table he was at, Leliana could wait. He sat across from him for several minutes before Dorian made note of him.

“Something amusing dwarf?” he said, shutting one of the books and looking annoyed. “If you’re looking for a good read I know an author who could hook you up with something far better than…” Varric looked at one of the book covers, “Origins of the Fade Volume 8?” 

Dorian pushed the other books out of the way, hiding their titles from Varric, “Thank you Varric but I”m not exactly in the mood to read the drivel you turn out.”

Varric looked mock offended, “Drivel? I’m hurt Sparkles. I only write novels of the highest quality. What are you doing looking at this crap anyway? Trying to win an argument with Solas because I have to tell you, you won’t.” Dorian snorted at that. 

“No, just…trying to make sense of what happened to Any….to the Inquisitor. I mean she was in the fade Varric, IN the fade. Physically. That’s not supposed to happen you know.”

Varric nodded, “And you are trying to figure out how? Because trust me, it’s not a feat you want to try magey.”

Dorian pointed in the air, “And that’s the problem. Once news of what she did spreads every mage in Tevinter will be attempting it. I’m curious because I want to know what kind of effect it will have on the Inquisitor but I know some, hell, many mages who would love to use it to gain power.”

Varric looked him in the eyes, “So you have read 8 different volumes on the Fade because you are worried about what some crackpot mages in Tevinter might do if they somehow get news of this all.”

Dorian nodded but did not return Varric’s eye contact. “Of course what other reason would I have?”

Varric sighed, “Horseshit.” Dorian looked quizzically at the dwarf. “Some mage might get the crazy idea that they can do this in their head, sure, and they might attempt it, which for everything I know is almost impossible and yeah, I guess that would be a problem. But that’s not why you’ve spent hours researching all this. After all, mages in Tevinter do crazy things all the time from what I hear.”

“Oh yeah? Then why have I exhausted myself looking at this all, do enlighten me oh wise one,” Dorian said sarcastically.

Varric walked over the the ledge and motioned for Dorian to follow him. Once there Varric looked down on the Inquisitor who was sitting in the rotunda next to Solas listening to another one of his stories. 

“The same reason we all do this. For her.”

“You do know I prefer men.” 

“I don’t mean romantically. I heard how she has defended you against those who mistrust you or try to kick you out of the inquisition. I know how dear a friend she considers you Sparkles, and trust me, friends like that are hard to come by.”

Dorian stared down, “She’s the only true friend I’ve had in ages but I sometimes feel my presence here is a burden. When people look at me they only see the hearsay about my homeland. I’m a slave owning blood mage who will stop at nothing to gain all the power. Isn’t that right?”

Varric chuckled, “That certainly sounds like the role of a villain and from what I remember this story already has one, and he is a lot scarier then some sarcastic necromancer from Tevinter.”

Silence followed for a bit, and Varric waited for the words to set in. “Listen, you are a huge help around here and a valued member of the team. If you dislike the things people assume about Tevinter then prove them wrong, be the example of what you want people to see about your homeland. Ignore the rest and do the best you can, that’s all anyone can ask of you, that’s all she asks of you.”

“I’ve spent the better part of my life feeling as though I had to hide a part of who I am, of feeling not good enough. I guess those habits of thinking are hard to break. I came here to help, but I hear what people say.”

Varric nodded, “Yeah I get that. But history will remember us Sparkles, one way or another, and I hope you get written about as one of the heros, one future Tevinter citizens will be proud of. That would be nice for a change huh?” 

Dorian smiled, “It would indeed. I have considered going home, just releasing her from the burden of my friendship. Every time we try to negotiate something or some nobleman has an issue my name comes up. Every single time.I would have though she would ask me to leave. And then when we discussed my homeland and slavery came up, I thought this time, this conversation, this is when she will say she’s had enough.”

“And yet you are still here Sparkles,” Varric pointed out.

“That I am. You know what? You are right. This organization is called the Inquisition is it not? And if the Inquisitor wants me here, damn the rest to hell.”

Varric smiled, “That’s the spirit. Hell, Cassandra hates my guts but Im still here aren’t I?”

“Varric you are alive, that alone is proof our deer Seeker can’t hate you as much as you claim.”  
 Varric laughed, “You might be right about that Sparkles.” They continued to watch the Inquisitor and Solas for a bit longer.

“There’s something about him I just don’t trust,” Dorian said. “Sorry, that was just a passing thought, I’m not even sure why I said it out loud.”

Varric nodded, noticing the longing in the Inquisitor’s eyes, “Yeah. Reminds me of a friend of mine, passionate about a cause but, in the end we couldn’t save him from himself and he took a lot of people down with him.”

Dorian nodded and Varric went on his way up to see Leliana. Oh Blondie, Varric thought as he walked, Let’s hope this elf doesn’t follow in your footsteps.


End file.
